First big announcement…. Yes, you got it, coffee is back!
So what, right? It’s just a coffee. But actually, in reflection, it’s more than that. It’s a touch of freedom. One less rule, because during this process you lose a lot of control!!! Many would argue we never really have control, but the perception of control is a comfort.
The last week has been filled with appointments, updates and check ups. This week is no different, and we are piecing together what the future looks like. It’s another one of those walk before you run scenarios, as I have learned information and a schedule brings me comfort. Knowing what’s coming next. I know the next phase is radiation. I know it will be in a few weeks. I know it will be daily. I know it will be for 3-6 weeks. But I can’t wait to have those details locked down.
Yesterday was another milestone. The stitches were removed. More than one person has said to me, “that must feel good". But actually, I feel nothing at all. My chest is numb… of the 50ish removed, I felt two. A blessing for stitch removal, but the full realization that the skin on my chest doesn’t and won’t have feeling. What is good is that I am ONE MORE SLEEP from the first shower or bath I have had since June 25! Also, the blessing of having short hair, I have been washcloth showering all this time. I can’t wait to feel the heat, to exfoliate, to feel a bit more normal.
Even as I write this post I feel like it reflects how I feel; a bit mundane, a bit frustrated, a bit “nout na sumut” as northern friends would appreciate!!!
Maybe it’s because I'm sick of telling Izzy I can’t lift her. Maybe because I want to dig in the gardens. Maybe because I want to drive. Or maybe because I'm still processing my pathology results of last week (a post coming once we’ve translated the oncologists words… and handwriting!!!)
So, as I sign off today I’m going to forget about changing the world, pour a coffee and enjoy the cold grass under my feet as we look for snails in the garden!
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